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Hands Together

5 Do’s And Don’ts For Step-Parents To Connect With Step-Kids

“The R Family – 2” by RebeccaVC1 is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0

Be the best step-parent possible – 5 Do’s and Don’ts.

Step-Parents What to Do:

  1. Listen to the children and reflect their feelings. “Sounds like you’re angry . . . ” All kids want to be heard. This doesn’t mean you can’t enforce boundaries but you can still listen and empathize with them. For example, “I can see that you’re angry that we wouldn’t let you stay out later. You’re still going to be grounded for 2 days because you intentionally broke the curfew.” But let the bio parent deliver the punishment if at all possible especially if it is early in the relationship.
  2. Keep your intimate dating relationship and PDA’s private.
  3. Stay open to the children even if they first reject your friendly overtures. They have their own time frame so hang in there.
  4. Speak positively about both bio parents. If there’s nothing good to say about the ex at the moment, say nothing. If there is a significant problem with placement and you can’t work it out, consider mediation.
  5. Have a family meeting to resolve problems openly and patiently. Remember to speak about how you feel and drop the lectures (they don’t work anyways.)

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Why Cohabitating Couples Are More Likely To Divorce After Marriage

Cohabitating Couples Divorce

Several studies have shown that couples who live together before marriage are at significantly greater risk of divorce. “Those couples who have lived with each other are noticeably (around 15 percent) more likely to divorce. In “Cohabitation: An Alternative to Marriage?” authors Dr. John Hayward and Dr. Guy Brandon found that couples who have previously lived with a different partner before getting married are around 45 percent more likely to divorce.” (August 30, 2011 as reported in the International Business Times). (more…)

The Model Standards Of Conduct For Mediators

The Model Standards of Conduct for Mediators

The Model Standards of Conduct for Mediators was prepared in 1994 by the American Arbitration Association, the American Bar Association’s Section of Dispute Resolution, and the Association for Conflict Resolution.[1] A joint committee consisting of representatives from the same successor organizations revised the Model Standards in 2005.[2] Both the original 1994 version and the 2005 revision have been approved by each participating organization.[3] (more…)

Guardianship Alternative: Parental Authority To Family

Guardianship is not required to take care of your grandchildren

Guardianship in Wisconsin is a complex court procedure. It requires money and a hearing with a judge.   Wisconsin allows a parent with legal custody to give their parental powers to another person without going to court or social services. For 12 months parents can give caretaking duties to another person without going to court.

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May Day And Divorce Mediation

Divorce Mediation

May Day, celebrating new life, is almost upon us. It is also the day my dad died. Five years before, on that same day – I had also miscarried. May Day was an ancient celebration exactly marking mid-year from November 1st – the end of the fallow winter and celebrating the coming spring. But not to me. I did not anticipate the daffodils and tulips but dreaded the coming Father’s Day with Hallmark banners of fathers and children catching me off guard and unprotected. (more…)

Discussing Money Without A Fight? You Really Can.

Married Couple Discussing Money Without A Fight?

It’s 3:00 a.m. and Natalie and Jim are awake and angry. Jim is sitting up in bed. “That’s it. We’re going to have separate checking accounts!” She whispers fiercely, “I don’t understand why you are so upset. I told you that I saved over a thousand dollars!” Forgetting his whisper, he yelled, “What do you mean save? You just emptied our checking account and I have to pay the mortgage! You always do this. You’re just like your mother!” She glared at him and hissed, “Stop it or you’ll wake up the kids. I suppose we should be more like your father. His idea of ‘hosting’ our groom’s dinner was buying a whole case of beer.” She paused briefly and then spit out, “You’re so pathetic.” He sighed deeply. It always ended this way. Without a word he went downstairs to sleep on the couch. (more…)

Journal Of Family Law: Family Law Legislation

 Family Law Legislation

Legislative debate on family law legislation has been dominated by two contradictory measures to revise the way child support is calculated. As detailed in the last issue, the choice is between revisions to Chapter DWD 40 (supported by the Family Law Section), and a pair of companion bills-Assembly Bill 250 and Senate Bill 156 that would establish the child support formula by statute (opposed by the Family Law Section). (more…)

Current Child Support Rule For Shared Time Payers

Child Support Rule For Shared Time Payers

The current law was enacted on January 1, 2004. This highlights the major changes from the prior child support law. 1While we are focusing on the legal aspects of support, remember that the law is only one factor for parents to consider. We encourage couples to creatively find financial solutions that best fit their family rather than blindly following the legal standards for child support because every family is unique. (more…)